I get what you're saying about the reasons you tell us you're unhappy or the reasons for taking drugs Ben, but lets be honest a lot of people probably feel the same way including me. I've been to the lowest of the lows and if I wasn't a coward I wouldn't be here and I'd probably take drugs too. I'm not saying that for pity I'm just saying if drugs were everyone's way out this world would be an odd place. Have you asked anyone around you their thoughts on you taking drugs?
IM SO SICK OF EVERYONE AND ALL THIS FUCKING SHIT THIS IS MY LIFE I AM DIFFERENT TO YOU YES WE MAY BOTH FEEL SAD YES WE MAY BOTH FEEL SUICIDAL BUT RIGHT NOW IM BEYOND THAT I DONT WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DESTROY MYSELF I WANT TO TAKE EVERY SMALL PART OF MY BODY AND CRUSH IT COMPLETELY OBLITERATE MYSELF I AM IM SO MUCH FUCKING PAIN AND I DONT KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER I CAN HADLE IT I JUSTN WANT EVERTHING TO END INM SO FUCKING SICK OF ALL OF THIS AND THE ONLY TIME I DONT FEEL LIKE THIS IS EHN IM HIGH SO YEAH IOM SORRY I TAKE DRUGS AND NO I DONT GIVE A FUCK WHAT OPEOPLE AROUND ME THINK AND I CANT TAKE THE INTERENET ANY MORE IMN GOING I CANT TAKE IT TODAY
Can I ask why so many people are trying to tell you, what to do with your own life? I just can't understand it I'm sorry..
because everyone thinks they’re so smart and they understand life so well and its so easy to be happy and do well. and then the internet gives them the opportunity to pass on this wisdom, yet they do it anonymously because subconsciously they realise they are being complete and utter twats because obviously everyone looks at and interprets the world and their life differently and that is what leads us to make different choices and causes some lives to be easier than others
are you dating sandy?
no, and i have never dated her. and now even if i wanted to i feel i cant because fucking people on the internet keep telling me i should
Why are your imperfections so beautiful?
everyones are, they are the things that define us, make us different from everyone else
ever heard sic transit gloria... glory fades by brand new. it's a song about a boy loosing his virginity to a girl who wants him for sex, thought you might be able to identify
ah fuck i like that that is like the kind of stuff i used to listen to when i was younger, that was good
do you ever feel like you want to stop taking all the drugs you take? do you never think that itc'd be good for you? i know its a bit stupid me saying what you should do or whatever but maybe you should try and stop or cut down, see how you feel. it wouldn't hurt
yeah i do, but reality man… reality is so fucking hard, and so fucking shit and there is nothing i can do about it, i try to change it i really do i try to be happy but i cant nothing i do makes me happy, so instead i just want to escape
Have you thought about seeing a therapist?
yeah but like it just doesnt feel right, i dont want to talk to someone just because they;re paid to listen
you on study leave? are you being productive?
i was, i was being so productive, and then i still fucked up my first exam, and now its all gone to shit
